Fecked up, real bad.

I hate going to school. You know why? Cos' the teachers and people there suck, big time.
Every single time, I will be going through this repeated phase. Like when is the whole cycle coming to an end? Words of a mere friend, struck me, hard. I just realised whatever that person had told me, is in fact, though harsh, is true. I should find a better friend, with no malice and all. I deserve better, don't I? This sounds so much like a desperate plead. Feck it.

Not only that, I just realised either my English standard has dropped wayyyyyyyy low or Ms Fizah has a different marker perspective. I got back like three essays today. All of them are fecking average. Even the one which I felt that was the best, scored a meagre 22/30. Tell me, where has that 24/30 essays gone to? I aint trying to prove that I am awesome in English or anything, but seriously, has my standard dropped or did the marker have a different view on well-written essays? I mean, Debs scored a whopping 24/30 for an essay she did in half an hour's time. Don't get me the wrong way, I am happy that she scored that high, but I am really disappointed at what I got. Ah, screw it. I think I am just really fecked up that my best subject is now becoming... crap. Sorry Debs, no malice intended.

I yearn for more, but what else can I ever get? Hope and more disappointment. I thinkI am such a hateful person.